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The Stranger They Loved by ~BarrenCroe:iconBarrenCroe:



The people of Forliner
Were happy and healthy
In their little village
On top the green hills.

Until the day when
A man came to them
All covered in beard
And with a robe in hand.

He said to them:
“I am here,
You have waited,
Many years for me”.

The people looked at him
And replied:
“Who are you whom we wait?”
They said all at once.

“I am your son,
Your father, Your mother,
I am your friend,
And I am your brother”.

The people heard this
And laughed for a bit
Until they realized
He was indeed who he said.

So they sat him down
They washed him there
They took out their knifes
And cut his hair.

Then they said unto him:
“We know who you are,
You are our dead”
They said with a tear.

He left them there
He left for somewhere
They never saw him again
So they all waited for death.
©2008 ~BarrenCroe
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Submitted: February 17
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Comments: 9
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Author's Comments

My first poem without much rhyme, not sure I like it.
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Devious Comments

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~IchW1LL:iconIchW1LL: Feb 17, 2008, 1:53:54 PM
unreal, absurd, fantastic
~sarah-15:iconsarah-15: Feb 17, 2008, 2:46:03 PM
Wow, this is amazing! :]

--
Poetry... should strike the reader as a wording of his or her own highest thoughts, and appear almost as a remembrance.
~Tru-Lyfe:iconTru-Lyfe: Feb 17, 2008, 2:50:15 PM
This is really good, even without rhyming.
So... it is part of a story right?

--
We are all Imperfect. But it is Imperfection that makes us all beautiful and ugly all the same...
~BarrenCroe:iconBarrenCroe: Feb 17, 2008, 2:55:19 PM
Not necessarily a story, but part of a world. Basically my idea is that every poem I write (or at least most) will all be based in the same fictional world, that will developed with each poem.
~Tru-Lyfe:iconTru-Lyfe: Feb 17, 2008, 3:03:50 PM Mood: Happy
Oh I get it.
That is so amazing how you can do that.
I think you need to post more soon... please?

--
We are all Imperfect. But it is Imperfection that makes us all beautiful and ugly all the same...
~LostAnimeDrawer:iconLostAnimeDrawer: Feb 17, 2008, 8:55:42 PM
Death seems to be an almost foundation ideal in all your works from my meager observations. You've got the death of a small child by beast, a lake with the dead, and now this creature of death, a Legion of those who had come before and died.


Not too bad of a poem none the less.
It's oddly comforting to know that that man is what we may all become a part of in this world of yours. Or at least thats what I think.
Am I wrong?
~Leliz:iconLeliz: Feb 20, 2008, 9:09:00 AM
I love the idea behind this, how people want to care foe thier dead, even after the dead are gone. Powerful concept.

--
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~Jimstah:iconJimstah: Feb 20, 2008, 12:15:34 PM
“I am your son,
Your father, Your mother,
I am your friend,
And I am your brother”.

I love this Ö

Nice poem, nice concept

Fav Ö

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~WTFA54:iconWTFA54: Feb 27, 2008, 2:39:29 PM
it's very well done, and after having my brother tell me that true talent lies in being able to write openly yet still put forth the feeling of structure and order, i've found a great example of what he was talking about. great job

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